collapse

i knew WaMu was going to fold! i knew it! everyone thought i was exagerating but see what happened? it's a little sick how entertaining these news are to me. but how about this: before i left the states i was afraid that WaMu would crash and burn so i got a chase checking account and now chase bought out WaMu & i have two chase checking accounts! i should get paid for this...

ps: i had some oshiwambo cooked worms last night. it doesn't taste like chicken.

i wasn't prepared

(windhoek, namibia) i just had a meeting with a network for hiv+ teachers. they broke down crying at the end of the meeting. bawling.

responsibility

(windhoek, namibia) it just hit me. i'm in namibia. all by myself. i have my own apartment. i got here all by myself (with the help of you all of course). but really, no one made me fill out the application. i did it all by myself. no one made me accept the fellowship. i did it all myself. in effect, this time i flew myself half way across the world. this time it was my direct decision. this time, i take responsibility.

surprising challanges?

(windhoek, namibia) i went to an SME (small & medium enterprises) expo today. the expo was hosted by a nonprofit called 'SMEs compete', who provides services to SMEs. the LSI foundation is giving a grant to SMEs compete to provide training to SMEs in several rural areas. at this expo there were stands set up for the SMEs to display their businesses and also a round table discussion took place to give aspiring entrepreneurs advice.

one of the SMEs i spoke with, CTC (an IT services company), said their two biggest challenges were
1. they are black.
2. they are young.
imagine that, in a country that is run by a majority black government (the same government that achieved liberation and independence). the same government that is trying hard to address the huge youth unemployment rate. my point is not that the government has done something wrong. my point is two fold: (1) this country so needs the 'rich white people' but it is a fine line to encourage them to conform and care about the 'have-nots' and chasing them away. (2) it is a hard thing to change the mindset of a group of people, any group of people, just because you want development.

bail out

(windhoek, namibia) so if the government (U.S.) really intends on giving $700 BILLION to PRIVATE industry, should the 'people' not get a cut? yeah, we received our measly $600. if one does just the math however, each one of us would receive a big fat $2300 check in the mail, if that money was going to us of course. that $2300 doesn't even count the earlier help (i.e. bear stearns and chase). so fine fine, i'm economically minded i know its not the same to give us the money instead of the financial industry. in all seriousness though, should we not be getting ownership in the future prosperity of these companies? yes i am talking stock options. its crazy how they are debating more checks and provisions and not using the tax payers money for ridiculous managing director salaries, that's not even a given? no one would even dream about stock options... how much leeway would they have to save the financial industry if everyone just stopped paying taxes?

my book is only one in a long line of volumes...

(windhoek, namibia) i woke up today and miraculously was able to vocalize some things that have been hidden. a thought that's been in the back of my head for a while, i just hadn't verbalized it yet. but here it is:

i am lucky that so many 'could have gone wrong' events (call them turning points if you like) have all laid out in my favor. i could have never seen the ocean, being locked up in a desolate ukraine. i could have never seen diversity, not being dropped in the middle of the most diverse place on earth (nyc). shoot, i could have never came to the states, had my father not been jewish. this is a list that could go on & on based on the many bad and good decisions i've made (since i've been old enough to make them) or didn't make.

the point i want to make is that this series of events, and the future ones that will be associated with them, are all along a time continuum. i'm thinking of a timeline beyond my life span. go back to when jews were slaves. go back to when all the continents were connected. sounds crazy but each event built up to who i am today and to who you are today. if you follow my train of thought so far, you can see what i'm leading up to. the future is no place to get to. time doesn't stop once you arrive at the future. if you know me, you know i have been very anxious about the future. this has apparently been in contradiction to the thoughts in the back of my head.

this morning i realized that it's not anxiety i feel about my future. i am simply want to know what's going to happen in the next chapter. it's not even only my own future, it's everyone i meet. when i meet someone i realize i am meeting them on a certain page of their book. you always want to know how the book started and how it will end. i am simply in suspense to turn the pages of the book. of course i do realize a book is only one in a long line of volumes...

first e-mail

Dear Friends & Loved Ones,

As the story goes, there once was a little girl born in Ukraine who ended up working in Namibia by way of New York. Who would've thunk!

I am now in my second week of service in Namibia. The past week has been the longest week in my life. Of course I will never be able to effectively communicate all of the experiences and emotions but it gave me an interesting lens as compared to when I first came to America. In the borough of Brooklyn, wealth was misleading and inequality tucked away into dark corners that were not so apparent to the ten year old eye. Instead of being fixated with the bright lights and beautiful houses (which are in the white part of town), this time I was able to see a well rounded picture where a majority of the population was living in the poverty of tin structures just on the other side.

As some of you may already know, I will be in Namibia for ten months as a business and community development Fellow. The International Fellows Program (IFP) is one of two main volunteer programs at the International Foundation for Education and Self-Help (IFESH). To date, I will be working with the IFESH Namibia office on expanding its' funding and programs. I will also be working with the newly developed and rapidly growing Lazarus Shinyemba Ipangelwa (LSI) Foundation on sustained expansion. Lastly, I will liaise, network with, and help other NGOs, the Ministry of Education, Small and Medium Enterprises (SMEs) and public schools. Basically, I will make myself available for any help and training I can offer. You will hear more about the specific types of projects I will be working on later.

All in all, I feel very fortunate to have this opportunity no matter how lonely it gets being away from you all. This year will be a big lesson in learning how to take one day at a time. I am conscious of taking every day for granted but hopefully this experience will push me in the right direction.

If you want to receive these e-mails just send me your e-mail.

its not the same

(windhoek, namibia) i cannot tell you how much a part of me just wants to be kickin back at one of my favorite people's house havin some fried chicken, plantains and ice tea from the chinese food spot right now. they got kfc here, but its not the same.

olindi

(katutura, namibia) it makes me wonder...how many orphanages did i visit in nyc? NONE. why is it that i waited to be half way across the world to take action on the same things that needed attention back home? did i think someone else was taking care of it? did i think no one in namibia would take action? i am just being hard on myself, i know. but at the same time its hard not to see the obvious holes in one's thought patterns.

we went to donate school shoes to the olindi place of safety orphanage in katutura yesterday afternoon. the volunteers, staff and even the president of ifesh (she is visiting us in namibia) was there to make the donation in front of the media. the children were very interactive, like what you see on those commercials. they reached out their hands, cried if you didn't pick them up in your hands. almost as if they were trained, either that or starving for attention. never did i picture myself in one of those commercials. dr. sullivan (the president of ifesh) mentioned how they seemed better off than the orphanage she visited in malawi. in malawi, she said, the children were withdrawn. they looked sick in an obvious way. these children? better off? i'm speechless. i can't imagine what the children in malawi are going through if these children are better off, they looked hurt to me. i guess i'll have to make a second visit to a commercial.

other than this wonderful photo-up we were there to do some actual business. as part of my job description, i am looking to expand ifesh's programming. one of the initiatives we will be working on is with orphans and vulnerable children (ovcs). olindi is actually just one in a network of ten orphanages in katutura. we will be working on receiving funding to support these orphanages in a holistic way. meeting with the banks tomorrow, wish me luck!

heroes...

(windhoek, namibia) i attended a meeting with the minister of education today. it is amazing to sit down and speak with a man who's picture is hanging up on the wall behind him. he mentioned how the three men sitting at the table with us (including himself) were freedom fighters that were in exile during the end up apartheid. it is one thing to read about these events, to flip the pages of nelson mandela's book, but it is another to speak with a legend directly.

it makes me think however. all of these people were heroes of circumstance. for the most part, they were in the right place at the right time. they were fighting for their own rights as well as the rights of their people. they were not butting into problems that were not theirs. sometimes i get lost in whether a matter is that communities matter and we are outsiders looking in or whether its all relative and we are all in the same community in the end.

i'm a one world-er. i do believe we all came from one place and we are all heading for one place. the rifts and particulars that divide us now are just transitional. i cannot let myself be defined by a color, a religion (or lack there of), a country, an ethnicity. i think you catch my drift. the more experience i get however, the more i'm questioning if i'm alone in that FUNDAMENTAL thought. it seems like every human being wants to identify with something, i even catch myself many a time.

irony

(windhoek, namibia) some interesting things i noted over the past few days:
1. when we visited a primary school in katutura, the girls were jumping rope the same way i used to play the game in ukraine. hard to describe, but it wasn't double dutch. you jump from one side of the rope to the other in different patterns and the height of the rope increases as the levels go up.
2. we had a presentation from a nonprofit organization called schoolnet. long story short, they take unemployed youth and train them how to install and fix computers. this trained workforce then become technicians for schoolnet and help set up computers that schoolnet provides public schools in namibia free of charge. other than this innovative and VITAL program, it was very interesting that they decided to use linux. very smart. linux doesn't get viruses, only had one administrator and has similar enough software programs to windows. translation = more efficiency for less money.
3. yesterday, we had a moment of silence for 9/11. i am not being cynical, but something about it just felt funny. funny in an uncomfortable way. yes it was a tragedy, a disaster. but come on now. how many times do you remember having a moment of silence in america for slavery? for the holocaust? for the number of children that die from malaria and aids every day? for... anything foreign?

katutura

(windhoek, namibia) toured the city today. typical stuff, town center, heroes memorial, rich suburbs. then we got to katutura. katutura was the settlement allocated to blacks by the south african government during apartheid. during that time, katutura was divided into separate tribal locations as part of their divisive philosophy where blacks were forced to move. The name 'katutura' actually means 'we must go but we do not want to stay there'. present day, katutura is still where a majority of the black people in windhoek (the capital of Namibia) live in rather poor conditions. seems to have the synonym of being able to say you're from bedstuy though...